I need to get this down now and it really doesn't matter if no one ever reads it.

I've come to a realisation. Having spent the past 13 years (on and off) telling people that what I want to be when I grow up is a doctor, I've realised that, whilst it's not a lie, it's not entirely true. I would like to to be a doctor. It would be a great career and I'd be bloody good at it. I'd probably really enjoy too.

But what I want to do is something else entirely. I want to act. It's the first thing I think about when I wake up each morning and I fall asleep thinking about it. My problem is how do I go about making a career out of it? I know my parents would support me in what ever I decide to do, so that's not a problem. Any other career, you do A-levels, you go to Uni, you get a degree. Is that how it works with this? It's not really something they discuss as a career option because it's so damn unpredictable, so uncertain.

I need to act. It makes me truly happy.